The Emotional Toll of Caring: How Leaders in Service-Based Businesses Can Protect Their Energy

  • burnout prevention and resilience.

Running a service based business is deeply personal. People who start and run these types of businesses begin by asking ‘what is the solution to the problem I am seeing in the world?’ Of course, running a product based business comes with its own challenges and ups and downs but there is something uniquely emotional about serving others.

Every decision, challenge, and moment is tied to the lives of others, whether they are clients, your or the community you are trying to help. It can be the most rewarding thing you have ever done…and it can be the most exhausting thing you’ve ever done. It’s the type of work that gets under your skin and worms its way into your every thought, especially at 2am, keeping you awake at night, tossing and turning over a problem like a dog with an old shoe.

While wins and successes can be a massive high, it’s the  minutia and dealing with people and all that come with that that can hollow you out if you’re not careful.

As opposed to a product-based business, where customers can physically see what they’re paying for—a car, a phone, a meal, evaluating it’s quality, compare it to alternatives, and make a decision, as service-based business, you’re asking people to trust you. You are asking them to trust your expertise, your team, and your ability to deliver on something intangible. Whether it’s care, guidance, or support, your clients are relying on you to show up and meet their needs in a way that’s personal and intimate. That trust takes constant effort. And people these days have high expectations and can see you not delivering as a betrayal.

That’s hard to swallow. A single bad experience can ripple out and impact your ability to attract and retain clients. Word of mouth is often your biggest marketing tool, which means every interaction—whether with a client or a potential client—matters.

When we are told to practice ‘self care’, ‘work-life balance’ and ‘time management’, all those expectations and responsibilities can feel like a ton of bricks on our shoulders. These phrases can sound trite and meaningless when you’re in the thick of questioning your sanity and how it would’ve been easier to start an Amazon product business.

It’s not just the business imperatives of balancing the spreadsheet or paying people on time or having a marketing plan in place you carry, it’s the weight of knowing a decision could profoundly impact someone’s life, guilt that you’re not doing enough, even when you’re running on empty, and the soul crushing . exhaustion that creeps in when you hold space for others’ struggles while silently ignoring your own.

Burnout isn’t always as dramatic as having a physical breakdown or walking away, it can show up as the slow erosion of your passion. When your days become more about going through the motions, and not remembering how bright the spark that drove you once was. Service based business can demand everything, and if you let it, it will take everything.

While there are plenty of resources you can tap into to protect yourself in a world that constantly asks for more, reigniting your passion starts and end with you

Start by giving yourself permission to disconnect.

This is more than dragging yourself to your one week holiday once a year, like a dehydrated soul lost in the desert who can see the oasis in the distance. It’s building moments into your daily life where you can step back. Without guilt!  Disconnecting doesn’t mean you are  abandoning anyone by switching off your phone for a few hours or delegating a task. Think of it like charging your phone, which is at 20% and if you keep pushing it out to charge til it’s zero, you are damaging the battery. Give yourself space to recharge so you can come back stronger.

Guilt isn’t a badge of honour or a trophy. 

Sometimes the price of entry into a service-based business is guilt because you know you can’t help everyone, you don’t have enough time for your team and you got a bit snappy at someone because you’ve worked 90 days straight. Guilt is heavy, and useless. You can’t save everyone. You can’t fix everything. Accepting that doesn’t mean you care less—it means you’re human…and that’s ok, because we all are. Stop carrying around guilt. By accepting your humanity, you acknowledge that you are doing your best. 

Boundaries aren’t just country borders. 

Boundaries are useless if you don’t stick to them. They’re also not meant to shut people out but to set up little rules to protect you. You do matter. Your health does matter. If you struggle to care for numero uno, then start small. Make a deal with yourself to not answer emails after 8pm, or schedule the responses to an email to go out the next day, or put aside time for one afternoon a week to focus on something you want to do or to work on the business rather than day-to-day problems. 

It’s ok to not always be on. 

When you lead a service based business, there’s an expectation from those around you and from ourselves to always be on. Because you are the problem-solver, decision-maker, mover and shaker, and all knowing being who the people look to for answers. What happens when you need a break? A shoulder to cry on? Someone to vent to? Find someone you can trust to be your ‘person’. A mentor, therapist, peer group, or space where you can vent, be vulnerable, and let go of the weight you’re carrying. Switching off isn’t a weakness, it’s vital for survival, of your mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing.

Acknowledge the toll

You went into this knowing there would be a cost and a price. You knew it wouldn’t be easy. You know there would be many hurdles and challenges to overcome. Be proactive about taking care of yourself. Acknowledge the toll. Name it. Talk about it. Don’t pretend it doesn’t exist in an act of sacrificial martyrdom as it eats you from the inside.

Endless sacrifice is a stupid and dangerous myth

There’s this unspoken myth in service-based work—the more you sacrifice, the more worthy you are.  That is ridiculous.  The best leaders don’t give everything, they give wisely. Smart leaders understand their energy is finite. It’s a valuable resource.  You can’t give your best to others if you’re running on fumes.

It’s OK to celebrate your wins – big and small

The to-do list is never going to end, the challenges aren’t going to magically stop and the people you couldn’t help are still going to be there. Despite embracing all the suggestions above, there is no magic bullet that will remove these elements from your service-based business. Us humans are naturally wired to focus on the bad, it’s called negativity bias. We needed it for survival. We’re carrying that evolutionary wiring every day, even though most of us aren’t facing life-or-death. It stops us seeing the good, as we pick at the bad, like an old wound. While science can explain why we focus on the bad, it also can explain why we should celebrate our wins. Small wins are fuel for our souls, giving us momentum, happiness and reminding us that we are on the right track. Pausing to celebrate small victories like finishing a difficult task, getting through a hard day, or hitting a tiny milestone, you’re giving your brain a boost of feel good chemicals that can sustain you through the tough time and remind you that what you do matters.

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